How to Cope Following Miscarriage

Oftentimes women come to me who have experienced the miscarriage and the miscarriage can happen anywhere in the first trimester, so it’s the first 12 weeks of pregnancy is when they consider that a miscarriage. And so women will come and they are, you know, depressed. They are anxious, they are sad. They may have been trying fertility for a long time. They may have been trying to conceive for a long time and then they are become pregnant and they’re excited to add to their family or to begin their family.

And so oftentimes women have miscarriages and they are, you know, sad about it. This is something that’s not very talked about. It’s not something that you often know that anyone’s had a miscarriage unless you tell them that you’ve had a miscarriage. So I encourage you to talk to other people, talk about your grief, talk about what it meant for you, what that baby meant for you.

Loss of a Dream

It is a huge loss for people when they have miscarriages because when we get pregnant, we automatically have a dream about what that child will look like. We’ve already thought of names. We’ve already thought about maybe, you know, what sport they would like or what college they would go to. And so a miscarriage is really a loss of that dream. It’s a loss of that child. It’s a loss of that person being in your life. And so oftentimes I’ll tell people, you know, there are lots of books out there that you can do and read to talk about your miscarriage.

Ways to Honor Your Baby

There are companies who make necklaces that are really nice for some people to grieve. They have the conception date, they have the loss date, and then the date that the baby was expected. And so a lot of people wear those as a symbol of their baby. I think that you can have a service or a ceremony for your baby. I think whatever you choose to decide to grieve your baby. I think it’s important that you do that. Some people like lanterns. Some people let balloons so that you can honor your baby. Some people still celebrate, you know, the day that they were due. So I think there are many things that you can do to aggrieve your baby with, without anyone or with your loved ones. I think it’s important to do that.

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Linda Zaffram is the founder and owner of Healing Circle Counseling and Services. She is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker (LCSW) with 10+ years social work experience developing community outreach programs. Linda has experience in program development and coordination experience in non-profit,... Read More