Postpartum Support Provided by the Partner
(Dad, Grandparent, Friend, Other)
[Transcript of Answer]
“So directly after the baby’s born, we like for doulas to kind of step back into the background and that is when the support person is able to just come around and bond and it’s the only time where you don’t have anything to do. You can just be a part of that invitation to get to know your baby and to be there and just look into your baby’s eyes and to count their toes and to count, their fingers. Everything else just melts away. This is your one time that you get to absorb that. So stay there, don’t go tell people the baby’s born yet, just stay with mom and baby because you don’t get that part of your life back again. Then the other thing is when you get home, don’t invite the world to come see this baby. This is your space and you’re inviting your baby for the first time into your home.
So, mom’s going to be exhausted. The support person. You can support her best at home by actually not allowing a lot of family and friends to come interrupt that time frame. She’s still trying to get herself together and trying to figure out breastfeeding so you being the runner, if you would have to get her drink to get her food, she will forget those things if you are not there helping her through this. After the birth when you are settled at home and when she wants to invite people over, it also is your job to understand how much of her time has been taken away, from healing.
So be the protector of her space and make sure that you only give small increments of time to visitors because it really takes a lot of her energy and she typically doesn’t know how much energy she has given away and tell she is exhausted and then you don’t want to tired, tired, tired, mommy on top of postpartum time frame.
So, allow her to take a shower, change the baby’s diaper and get baby ready so that the baby can breastfeed. That takes a lot of time actually, and so mom can be either sleeping during that time or she can be actually taking care of herself, which is something that she needs to do. Mothering the mother and the postpartum timeframe is the best thing that you can do to serve her.